Si j'étais une émotion, je serais confusion
There's been radio silence for a while, because it's been a season of confusion here at e* land. Had I written, all I would have produced is a jumble of white noise.
In the space of three short months, I went from being a girl who never had a boyfriend in the UK (never having gone out with any boy for more than three dates in a row), to a girl who has gone out with three boys: English boy 1 (SJT), French boy 1 (BT), French boy 2 (AJ).
Each choice has been tortuous, and finally resolved entirely carelessly as by a roll of dice, based on fleeting flashes of mood.
BT because SJT didn't respond quickly enough to phone calls and texts.
AJ because he was upset and I didn't want to be responsible for ruining his career, and I was curious and afraid I would regret it if I didn't explore the option. And BT was the sweetest and most generous-spirited boy when I broke up with him, which made it easier for me (thank you)
I'm still not sure AJ is the boy for me. And yet i'm visiting his country (and parents) tomorrow.
In the space of three short months, I went from being a girl who never had a boyfriend in the UK (never having gone out with any boy for more than three dates in a row), to a girl who has gone out with three boys: English boy 1 (SJT), French boy 1 (BT), French boy 2 (AJ).
Each choice has been tortuous, and finally resolved entirely carelessly as by a roll of dice, based on fleeting flashes of mood.
BT because SJT didn't respond quickly enough to phone calls and texts.
AJ because he was upset and I didn't want to be responsible for ruining his career, and I was curious and afraid I would regret it if I didn't explore the option. And BT was the sweetest and most generous-spirited boy when I broke up with him, which made it easier for me (thank you)
I'm still not sure AJ is the boy for me. And yet i'm visiting his country (and parents) tomorrow.
